This little piggy grilled your meats

Although it's no longer barbeque weather here in New Zealand the EEB and I are thinking about buying a new barbeque in preparation for the day when the house is in a suitable state (ie renovated) to entertain. Up until now I've been leaving window shopping to the EEB, barbeques have never particularly excited me. In fact, I view barbeques in the same way I view cars - as some sort of manhood extension. My motto: the bigger the car/barbeque, the smaller the .... wallet.

But then, I saw this:



That, my dears, is the Lil' Pig grill. Check out her udders! I would presume it's not available here in New Zealand, but if it was I would totally be getting me some of that piggy action! Available from Traeger Wood Pellet Grills. The web site doesn't list the price, which presumably means it's one expensive little piggy!

Proof I'll never win the Mother of the Year award

10 Year Old Boy is exceptionally mischievous, and loves to wind me up. He knows that a surefire way to do this is to answer every sentence of mine with "why?". He can go on like this for hours, bless him. I finally trumped him the other day though. I don't remember what the conversation was about, but it went on for some time, me saying something, him saying "why", me trying not to pop, until it culminated with this:

10YOB: "why?"
Me: "well then you were born"
10YOB: "why?"
Me: "because your father and I had sex"
10YOB: *blush* ... *squeak* ... *run away*

I've never seen him leave the kitchen so fast!

Play teh cute!

I'm such a sucker for lolcats. And loldogs for that matter. I mean, cute animals, amusing captions, a way to spend hours avoiding the housework - what's not to love! And now they've gone and introduced another way for me to spend hours avoiding the stuff I'm actually supposed to be doing. In fact, two ways.



Now there are two Nom Nom Nom games. Simple, time-wasting, addictive - pull the cat's (or dog's tail), eat the noms and beat my score* - go on!

* It won't be that hard to beat my score. In fact it will be so easy to beat my score I haven't even bothered publishing it, because it was teh suck! But feel free to tell me yours, so I know just how much better you are than me!

What I've been doing

It's been a few weeks since my last proper post, so here's a quick recap of what's been happening. I have:

• Been a bridesmaid in purple, and discovered that my Jurlique Citrus Silk Finishing Powder (bought cheap at Gold Coast Duty Free last year) is worth it's weight in gold for keeping my oily skin shine free during an outdoor wedding on a hot and very humid Auckland day.
• Survived 13 Year Old Girl's first day at high school, which was more exciting than it should have been when a passing crim attempted to snatch a parent's bag, and the welcoming powhiri was drowned out by the noise of the police helicopter circling overhead searching for the would-be purse snatcher.
• Had a delightful (and all too brief) visit from EEB's mum and step-father (the Eccentric English In-Laws).
• Laughed far harder than is possibly polite at the Eccentric English In-Laws' attempts to pronounce Maori words.
• Introduced the Eccentric English In-Laws to my wonderful Foster Parents on a trip to my home town of Dunedin, and realised that I am a short person surrounded by tall people.
• Had a delightful dinner with the Foster Parents and the Eccentric English In-Laws at Speights Ale House in Dunedin, where the lamb was lovely.
• And discovered Speights Pale Ale, a light, crisp brew which has replaced Corona as my beer of choice.
• Rediscovered the breathtaking majesty that is Central Otago.
• Dined for the second time at The Bunker in Queenstown, and had it reconfirmed as my favourite restaurant ever.
• Promised the Eccentric English In-Laws that next year we will visit them - hooray for a trip to England with a stop-over in Hong Kong. 10 Year Old Boy was a little underwhelmed by the possibility, until he realised that because we're going for three weeks he'll get an extra week off school after the school holidays. Now he's positively brimming with excitement!
  
• Had a prowler in our street who scared the living daylights out of our neighbours. When I went out to investigate the presence of police cars in the street the policewoman held up a pair of knickers and asked if they were mine - I had to to tell her that none of my knickers are that, well, delicate! Turns out they were stolen off the washing line of a lady a couple of houses round, the next time I saw her I complimented her on her taste in underwear. She only has one child, she may as well wear delicate frillies while she can!
  

Oh AND, joy of joy of joys, the Eccentric English In-Laws brought over my Christmas present and you will never guess what they got me. Go on, guess ...

Ok, here's a clue. And it's just as awesome on my wrist as it looks in the picture.

Because one is never enough

The thing to do when you have a blog which you update sporadically is, obviously, to start a second blog. Which you will then update sporadically. So of course that's precisely what I've done ... Ladies and Gentlemen (well, just ladies actually because it's a blog about makeup and clothes and shoes), may I present to you my new blog, Pretty Clever.

Bully to you

I was humming Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to myself this morning (somewhat out of season I know but bear with me) when a thought occurred to me that I've had a few times before: the lyrics to that carol really annoy me. Think about it, Rudolph was picked on by the other reindeer because he was different, and it was only when he performed an heroic feat that he was elevated in their eyes and they stopped bullying him. Now don't get me wrong, this is not some diatribe about the writers and purveyors of this message, which also turns up in many teen angst-ridden dramas on screen and in print. They're only writing what's already there. How many of us, on the receiving end of bullying, have fantasised about being revealed as the lead singer of a famous rock band, or an ass-kicking laser gun-wielding secret agent for a secret government agency fighting alien invasions (ok so those two particular fantasies are mine) thereby earning the respect and adulation of their former bullies?

I was bullied throughout my school years, and the truth is if I had had the chutzpah to be a rock singer or secret government agent then I wouldn't have been bullied in the first place, because bullies have an innate ability to read people and they can spot the ones like me whose body language and glances say "I have no self esteem, please just ignore me".

There was one particular girl at high school who bullied me mercilessly, both with words and occasionally more physical methods, followed by a gaggle of her friends all eager to join in the fun. I was incredibly lucky that I had a wonderful best friend who stood up for me, and formed herself and the rest of our group into an honour guard of sorts around me whenever they saw her coming across the school field. A trip to the school counsellors office in tears eventually put a stop to her bullying (what methods he used to convince her to cease I don't know, I just know my relief was immeasurable). A couple of years later, after she had left school, I ran into her one day when I was out with my father - she was the checkout operator on our till at the supermarket. My heart sank when I saw her, but she astounded me by apologising, in front of my father, for the way she had treated me. I don't remember my answer (I do remember the interrogation from my father afterwards, I'd never told him about the situation), but to this day I have the utmost respect for that girl. It took some guts to say that, in the presence of my father and the other customers, and it just goes to show that just as victims don't always have to be victims, so too can bullies change their ways - and it doesn't take an heroic act to bring it about.